When we checked into the airport this morning, in the line behind us was another band. This is a key moment on tour and can easily go ugly if you don’t know how to handle it. I for one do know how to handle it. Taking in that they had more tattoos than us and were of a slightly higher profile I knew quick tactics needed to be handed out and someone needed to don the generals hat and non of the other patsies I was with was likely to. So I circulated carefully amongst my team members and informed them of the situation we were in and how we were to proceed. Both bands checked in side by side, gear sprawling across the airport floor in a ocean of black. Trolleys were quickly loaded and a rush was made to the oversize baggage and out of that initial battle. Conveniently Qantas had seated us next to each other on a packed aeroplane so the avoidance of acknowledgment was getting progressively more difficult especially if one had to make his or her way to the bathroom. At the other end of the flight the situation played itself out in reverse as we raced to find free trolleys and load ourselves up once again at that battlefeild where many a soldier has shed pools of blood – oversize. The intensity did not let up at as we stumbled and crawled to the rental joint , injured but determined to find 2 all most identical vehicals parked next to each other manned by red uniformed monkeys with their performing caps bouncing on their sad thin heads, eager to please and eager to betray.
Our van was a 12 seater theirs was a 14, the edge had been handed to them. Load Load good man Load. And drive
Down the highway tears rolling we had one, then there they were, pulled up right beside, cannons loaded, a mad admiral screaming
Fire all guns
And we sank
And we sank
And we sank
Venue Review Number 4
The Metro Theatre – SYDNEY, NSW
Love it. Its big, ugly and only exists to serve one purpose, like an old fat drunk
The Brass Monkey – CRONULLA, NSW
The venue owner showers you with his outstanding collection of Taquilas and Absinths (he has over 70 different tequlas of which only 30 get sold to the public) and his grand fathers special moonshine. But you have to play his game to get the service. It’s a game that shows you hows boss and is done in a slightly confusing form of generosity.
The room is as cold as a brass monkey and you can never forget that you re in Cronulla